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What is the Boys to Men weekend?
Our boys and Mentors spend more time together on this weekend than a typical mentor program provides in six months. Each day has a specific intention:
Friday: WHO I AM NOW?
Saturday: WHO DO I WANT TO BE?
Sunday: CHOOSING THE MAN I WILL BECOME
This 3-day training is led by experienced facilitators and trained staff, and provides a 2:1 ratio of men to boys. During the weekend, boys are challenged and supported through a series of carefully facilitated activities designed to bring out their feelings in a safe way. This creates a powerful experience that helps boys cope with the ordeals they will face during adolescence. They learn about integrity. They bond with a tribe. They learn about mission and service. This weekend is a life-changing experience boys never forget.
How many boys have gone through the Boys to Men Program?
Internationally over 3,500. This weekend has an exponential effect on the boy’s family, friends, schoolmates and community at large.
Do you have any religious affiliations?
No, BTM has no religious affiliation or religious teachings. We support each boy’s individual spiritual tradition and journey.
What is the age group you work with?
Every boy between the age of 13 and 17 is eligible.
How are Mentors selected?
Each prospective mentor goes through a one day training program as well as a through background check.
Is this only for fatherless boys?
The BTM program helps boys become better men. All boys need more good men in their lives, even those who have good fathers.
How are you different from Big Brothers?
Big Brothers only offers one on one mentoring. The BTM program offers one on one mentoring, plus group mentoring, experiential mentor training, boys adventure weekend, and bi-weekly follow up activities for our boys and mentors.
What is your goal with each individual boy?
The BTM experience gives young men higher self-esteem, empowered sense of self, and a greater capacity for compassion and empathy. These valuable life skills give them the tools they need to become a better man. The desired outcomes of the program are to produce boys who become leaders, productive citizens, successful businessmen, gainfully employed, educated, managing their emotions, and participating actively in their families.
How does this program hope to positively influence their lives?
The main component of our program is honesty and truth. We go to great length to allow the boys to feel safe and supported. When a young man can come clean and be completely honest about what is going on in his life, when he can truthfully see how his behavior is affecting him and those around him.
How do boys usually hear about your program?
Mostly word of mouth. We constantly receive calls from single moms seeking help for their teenage boys.
How many of these boys come back to become Mentors?
After one year we usually have about 75% of the boys that have gone through the program still engaged. Typically those boys will staff the following years BTM training. They mentor by being an example. By showing and letting the new guys know that they are safe. They are mentors by being courageous, honest and vulnerable.
BTM;
How do you train your mentors?
We have developed, and regularly make improvements upon, a powerful training that takes men back to their teen years by sharing teenage stories, revealing teenage secrets, and remembering the glory, discovery and difficulty of those years. This process of “reclaiming their teenager” gives men a new perspective about teenage boys. They learn that being of service to boys helps them to be better men.
• All Mentors must pass a nationwide background check.
• Each Mentor commits to attend community meetings for one full year.
• Mentors are taught how to listen, accept, and encourage young men they will mentor.
This training not only helps solve the problem of recruiting and keeping men volunteers, it also helps men grow and become better men.
Why do boys need this program?
Adolescence is a critical time when young men are faced with choices that affect them for the rest of their lives. Boys naturally look towards men to challenge, guide, and help them become good men. The sad fact is too many young men do not have good men to look up to. They are left to figure out manhood alone. Fatherless families, overcrowded prisons, increasing gang violence, and drug and alcohol abuse are often the result.
Where do you have BTM locations?
Boys to Men Trainings are offered in the following areas:
Ashland, OR, Asheville, NC, Canada West, Cape town, South Africa, Central California Coast, Chicago, IL, Denver, CO, Detroit, MI, Hamburg, Germany, Houston, TX, Johannesburg, South Africa, Minneapolis, MN, Montreal CAN, New England, Northern California, NY and NJ Metro Area, Phoenix, AZ, Prescott, AZ, Portland, OR, Rochester, NY, San Diego, CA, Santa Fe, NM, Sedona, AZ, Sioux City, IA, St. Louis, MO, Washington, DC
Mentor Questions
What is my job description as a mentor?
There are many levels of time commitment made by men involved in Boys to Men. A mentor is a personal ally and supporter. A mentor is not a teacher or surrogate parent. Some young men think of them as uncles or big brothers. Boys to Men screens our volunteers carefully. We’re looking for good men who are already successful in their own lives. We also provide a powerful training for men called “Reclaiming Your Teenage Fire.” Then BTM shares what we know with our mentors: that young men are already excellent, and that mentors get as much as mentees from their friendships.
What is the time commitment?
BTM offers lots of easy ways to Mentor based on your lifestyle and needs.
Some boys don’t want or need much, and some do. At the easiest level, you can just give rides to events or come play at activities with the boys. We arrange our One-to-one pairs based on common interests, location, and of course by matching needs with corresponding willingness.
Is there training for me?
BTM is proud to offer what we believe is among the finest possible training available to help our mentors be ready to be with their boys in a good way. In our Mentor Training Weekend, “Reclaiming the Teenage Fire”, you’ll get a gift that you’ll treasure for the rest of your life. First we’ll take you back into your own hopes, fears, dreams, and experiences of adolescence. We’ll help you identify your own strengths and style of mentoring, and of course we’ll share what we know about how to be with boys in a way that will change.
What happens on the Boys’ Adventure Passage Weekend?
We need men to staff the Boys’ Rite of Passage Training Adventure weekends. There are games, activities, discussion circles, challenge events, and celebrations of victory. We’ll share the full agenda for the weekend with parents you come with your boy to register. We won’t tell the boys the specifics of the agenda since it would dilute the effectiveness of the processes. Integrated into the team & skill building we have opportunities for personal sharing amongst the boys. Often the boys open up their deep issues to find acceptance, witnessing, and support. At the end they are celebrated for their successes and asked to commit to their own path to manhood in a powerful way.
What’s next for Boys after the weekend?
Any young man who has completed his Passage Adventure Weekend is called a Journeyman. We need men to be one of our group mentors at ongoing activities that include fun events, social service, and skill building. The one-to-one matches can be made on weekends, at activities or in a more private setting. Mentors are invited to attend activities as their boys and they are interested. Mentors who commit to spending more time are asked to have their own activities and phone relationships with their new mentees. Boys to Men has a mentor support person who will call you periodically to see how it’s going and offer options & support.
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